Carl and I met online about 5 years ago. We met in person soon after. I think he was much more interested in me than I was in him. I didnt think he was my type. I had dated men that I thought were my type or maybe more like what I thought I needed to get what I wanted out of life. Carl was from a small farming community. He didnt have money or a nice car, couldnt afford to take nice trips and he wasnt all that cultured, he had never been a movie theatre or concert. After meeting for the first time I remember commenting to a friend of mine that he was nice and would make a good friend but that was it. Carl was definitely more interested in me though and kept calling and driving the 2 hour drive to come visit me. A few months after we met, we had a conversation about how he wanted to move out of the country and maybe try living in the city. I was roomateless at the time so I offered him the second bedroom in my appartment if he wanted to try city life. It was under the condition that we were only friends because I knew he wanted more but I didnt want to hurt him. He was not my type!
Wow, was I wrong!! Two weeks after he moved in, we officially started dating, four months later we were engaged and less than a year later we were married!
All the time I had been looking for the wrong kinda guy. I always dated men who were all about themselves. Guys who thought money and things were important. Men who needed fixing and I thought I could change them, I always had a thing for what I like to call"users" and I dont think I had enough self respect to want someone who wasnt one.
I found a man who isnt perfect, far from it actually, but he tries. He is sensitive, and caring, not always romantic, but thoughtful. He puts us first, our marriage is the most important thing to him. He cares about his family, and he works hard.
We have been married almost 4 years now, and I have loved watching our marriage changing and growing. We have a very strong marriage. We made a pact that no matter what no one leaves. No matter, how rough things get, we will work it out. We are at our best when solving problems together, even though we dont always agree we know we can work it out in the end.
We fight......we have disagreements, mostly over money, family and sometimes just stupid things when one or both of us is tried, cranky or hungry! Nothing is ever perfect, no one is perfect so your marriage isnt going to be perfect either. We have learned to compromise, and bend to what the other wants sometimes. We have both learned alot of patientence. We were both in our 30s when we got married and both kinda set in our ways and it took time to adjust to being a team instead of a single carefree individual. But now we are a team to be reckoned with. We have alot of the same values, ideas on life and we share alot of the same interest so it makes our lives together easy most of the time.
I am glad I found a man who I can be friends with, someone I trust, someone who I know no matter what will stand up and protect me and be there for me no matter what life throws our way. I cant till every Monday, where I will be sharing my ideas on marriage, fun tips to spice it up and how God can strengthen your marriage!
Blessings,
Heather
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