Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Being a better wife
I love my husband. He is so wonderful. He isnt perfect. No one is. but I love him and I want nothing but the best for him. I havent worked since we got married. It was a decission we made together. When we got married I was working retail and anyone who has ever worked retail knows it can be crazy hours. One day you work during the day the next the evening, some times you work all weekend sometimes you have a day off and sometimes you work 6-7 days in a row. My husband works pretty much 7-5 everyday except the winter when he plows so its at the whim of the weather, so with my schedule and his we didnt get to spend alot of time together and we couldnt make plans ahead of time. We really enjoyed being able to spend every evening together, making plans for the weekends and spending quality time together. We also decided that if we had children I was going to stay home and raise them, we didnt see the sense of having children if they ere going to spend more time with a babysitter than us. My husband says he loves the fact that when he gets home every night his supper is made, that the housework is done and we can really have quality time together. Recently I came across a couple blogs that talk about the importanceof being a good wife,mother, housekeeper and how they believe its a womans role to do these things, how its a mans place to be the head of the household and how society has deminished the role of a wife at home, how society makes woman who choose this role feel less than other women who have careers and "who have it all." I may not go as far as these women but I do believe that men and women are not created equally, we are different, we have different roles to fill, different purposes,if we were meant to be equals we would be the same,I know it may sound old fashioned and not feminest enough to say I enjoy being home, I enjoy taking care of my husband and our house and if we are ever blessed with children I will be happy staying at home and raising them I dont feel any less than women who have careers and women who are out there making a living. I actually feel a little sorry for women who are expected to "do it all" or women who feel like they have to have a career to feel like they are somebody or feel like they are important. I think sometimes our society has placed too much value on having things, so women have to work to make ends meet maybe if we all lived on a little less, then women could stay home and take care of their own families. My husband and I consider each other equals in our relationship, we make decisions about finances, our home, holidays, and pretty much everything together. But I do feel my job is at home, it is my job to clean and cook, to keep our home clean, so that when he comes home from work he can relax. He works hard everyday so we can have a roof over our head, food on the table, clothes on our backs and it is my job to make sure those things are taken care of, I make sure the housework is done when he gets home so after dinner we get to spend time together. This doesnt mean he doesnt do anything around the house, he respects what I do , and he does his part to help keep things clean, he does all the yardwork and all the handywork. He works very hard and I make sure he knows I appreciate what he does. Now some of these websites say as a women it is our job to built our husband up , to encourage them , not to overwhelm them with our problems and nag them. In a way I agree with this and in some ways I dont. It is definitely our jobs to encourage them , as its their jobs to encourage and support us. I do like to think I encourage my husband, I hope I am postive and let him know how much I love him, how much I appreciate what he does for me. But if I have a problem, I dont act like all is ok, we work on problems together. It was my New Years resolution to be a better wife, to practice some of this Godly principles more in our marriage and not to feel like I was less for doing so, my job as wife and housekeeper is important. Its only been 18 days but I have seen a differnce in our marriage already. I make sure all housework is done and I dont expect him to help, its means less nagging and more quality time together. I enjoy my job and home and feel satisfied that I do this for us. I feel like we are closer, we havent had a nasty word between us, he seems to appreciate what I do for him and he seems to respect what I do more. We have spent more time together, just cuddling or doing fun things together. I greet him with a smile when he comes home and dinner on the table and it sets a stage for a wonderful caring time together. We arent perfect, my husband isnt perfect, but he is perfect for me, and I feel more empowered knowing my role and seeing how when I follow this role, life is easy and comfortable. I will continue to pray for my husband and my marriage and I will continue my God given role as Carl's wife.