Good day everyone! Its a beautiful sunny day here in Fredericton. Yesterday I mentioned I was starting the Respect Dare and I promised some information about it. First lets define what respect means: the dictionary defines it as "to hold in esteem, or to honor, to show regard or consideration for". Isnt that something we all crave and need? We all want to to be held in esteem, we all want people to show us consideration whether is for our feelings or for our accomplishments. Men epecially want to be shown respect. It is ingrained in men to serve and protect. Its in their genes, and they want to know someone notices a job well done. Women are complicated, men are simple and I dont mean that in a derogatory way to either gender. We are wired differently, we were made to compliment each other and its ok! Men have feelings, and their manly egos get hurt when they feel like they are not providing for their families or when they fail at something, and when they feel like they are not being respected. In these times its all about equality, that women deserve as much respect as men and there is nothing wrong with that, women work hard too and they deserve respect for their accomplishments too. I believe everyone deserves Respect. Whether its your spouse, you mother, sister, neighbor, local politician, someone of a different religion or color. We are all human beings and we all deserve to be treated with dignity no matter our differences. Its what makes us all special.
The Respect Dare is about showing respect to your husband. It says in Ephesians 5:33b of the Bible that "and the wife should respect her husband". The 2 most important parts of a marriage in my opinion are Love and Respect. A marriage is a mirror to all other relationships in our lives and if we cant learn to love and respect our spouse, we cant show those to any other human being.
Respect for someone should come easy but it doesnt. Just like showing our love sometimes falls by the wayside with our busy lives. Sometimes we need a reminder or a lesson to help us grow. The Respect Dare is a book written by Nina Roesner and The Respect Dare is a forty-day devotional guide that will take away the mystery that is keeping you from speaking the language of respect with your husband. It provides real life examples from women who have developed closer relationships with God and their husbands.
The 40 day Respect Dare Challenge comes from both Nina's book and Dr Emerson Eggerichs book “Love and Respect”
According to "love and Respect", there are 6 areas where your husband needs your respect; Dr. Eggerichs uses the word C.H.A.I.R.S. to help us remember them. The assignments in the challenge have been broken up so that each week we will try and demonstrate respect in each of the 6 areas.
Conquest – Appreciate His desire to work and achieve
Hierarchy- Appreciate His desire to protect and provide
Authority- Appreciate his desire to serve and to lead
Insight – Appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel
Relationship- Appreciate his desire for shoulder to shoulder friendship
Sexuality- Appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy
We have just completed day 1 and here is what the dare includes so you can get a taste of what it involves:
The Respect Test~Day 1
Write down 3 things that you honestly and truthfully respect about your husband. (If you are having trouble, remember that he was created in God’s image.)
Find a quiet moment with your husband later that day and say the following:
“I was thinking about you today and about some of the things that I respect about you, and I just wanted to make sure that you know that I respect you.”
After completing the sentence walk out of the room. Resist the urge to say more unless he comes after you, call you back and invites you to say more.
If he does ask you “what things” make sure you are ready to tell him without having to go and look at your piece of paper.
I am doing the Respect Dare by following along with a wonderful group of ladies on facebook, we are only on day 2 so it wont be hard to catch up, if you are interested in following along, or if you want anymore resources let me know, I would be happy to hook you up! I am a total believer in showing respect to your spouse, and I cant wait to see how these challenges change and strengthen my own marriage.